I am excited to let everyone know that my husband Garrett and I are expecting our first child in October! (As if that's not exciting enough - Be sure to read to the end for more exciting news!) I know our lives will forever be changed and as the weeks pass by I have become more anxious about what this will mean for my career and marriage.
The truth is that I don't feel ready or prepared to be a mother but I don't think any woman ever does. I've always wanted to have children but I had some hesitation at the beginning of our marriage as I wanted our lives, careers, and finances to be more secure. While I do feel a bit more prepared in those areas, I have found it is true what everyone says about never being fully prepared for children. As much as you try to save and budget, you will never be ready. But of course, I didn't believe what everyone said so my husband and I found ourselves waiting for the right time.
We spend a lot of our lives waiting. Waiting to graduate college, waiting to meet our spouse, waiting to find the right job....all the while time still moves on and if we're not careful we can daydream our lives away. I've always been a daydreamer. I can remember many a math class sitting and watching the teacher but thinking about what my life will look like after I am through with high school and on to more interesting subjects like music (sorry to all you math lovers). I drafted out plans in my mind of where I should be in five years, ten years, and so on. We feel as though one day we will magically arrive at where we're supposed to be and be content with where life has brought us.
The Bible has a few things to say about our plans. Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of The Lord that will stand". James 4:13-15 says, "Come now, you who say, ""Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"" - yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ""If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.""
Through these verses I see that I need to be better about living in the moment. If we get too far ahead of ourselves, we might miss what the Lord has right in front of us. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. One of the biggest reasons my husband and I decided to start a family is in a period of a few months he lost two of his uncles and I lost one of mine. After attending three funerals, you realize how short life really is.
So do we just live day to day without a plan or focus? While I have learned that too much daydreaming is dangerous, I also know how important it is to have a plan. Proverbs 21:5 says, "The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty". This tells me that I don't just wait around and be lazy with the mentality that things will just fall into place. Have you heard of the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30)? The master was not pleased with the servant who hid his talent in the ground because he was too afraid of investing and losing the talent. The master called the servant worthless and cast him away. As Christians, we all come from different circumstances but whatever we have belongs to God. We are held responsible for how we use our resources and time. If we keep all we have to ourselves, we aren't being good stewards of what God has given us. The most important thing that God has entrusted us with is the gospel. Our duty is to share the gospel of Jesus with others and make disciples.
Nowadays, when I decide to make plans, I have learned it is important to seek the Lord through prayer and scripture. It's really a balance of being in the moment but also having an outline of where I am going and how I am going to get there. All the while, I have to understand that if something doesn't work out the way I planned, I can remember this verse, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord, plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11). If things don't work out the way I think they will, I can rest securely in my Father who knows all things and has my best interest in mind.
Now...on to my final exciting news!! I feel that one of the things God has prepared me for and entrusted me with is music. That is why I have more exciting news to share with you...I am planning on recording a full album! I have many more songs that are ready to be recorded but the thing that has prevented me from doing so up until this point is funding. I am not the type of person who likes asking for help but I truly am in need of some. My conservative estimate for the cost of the album is $7500 for the recording and production. I have decided to go through GoFundMe.com in order to get things moving along. You can click here to donate. I will be raising money through the summer and hope to start recording before my October due date. I would love for the album to be ready to release by the Spring of 2016. Why so long you ask? It takes several months of recording and producing for a quality album to be completed PLUS, I will be a new mom and with that comes a whole other realm of challenges (and blessings)! I will be updating everyone on the process as things move along. Please pray with me as I ask that God will provide. My main reason for wanting to share my music is my desire to share the gospel through music. Thank you in advance for your prayers and support!